I would like to move to Spain.

For the food, the culture, the climate? No, not really.

It's the fact that this country has recently introduced a new washing machine that has got me quite excited. No, I'm not as pathetic as you think. It isn't anything to do with the advanced ability of getting clothes clean, or the size of the load, or the other tiny details that appliance manufacturers think that intelligent women like me worry about.

This wonder of modern science includes the one feature I have been looking for since the day I first loaded my husband's pungent T-shirts into the washer, but the desire for this feature was unbeknownst even to me.

Here it is: The "Your Turn" washing machine uses fingerprint technology to ensure that the same person cannot use the machine twice in a row. How perfect is this?

The only downside I see is the fact that weeks may go by without you-know-who actually taking his turn, resulting in a dangerously high level of dirty clothes in not only mine, but my four children's already towering directly laundry baskets. Perhaps if it also included a "reward" for usage we might be able to get this idea working.

Naturally, this started me thinking about other chores that really should rotate back and forth between couples, but rarely do, particularly in my house. The inspiration for this washing machine was a new law which was recently passed in Spain, whereby civil marriage contracts include the writing in of shared household chores. Hard to enforce perhaps, without the subsequent introduction of:

The Dishwasher Clause: Dirty, empty dishes and glasses which are placed within a two-foot distance of the dishwasher will result in a nasty electronic shock to placer. Upside: Dishes may finally end up in the dishwasher that I didn't put there. Downside: I'll likely find dishes in the bathroom, dining room, and beside my office computer, all outside the "strike zone";

The Diaper Codicil: A small counter placed on the outside of baby's diaper which indicates "Mom" or "Dad". Change a diaper, add it in the counter. You can't add a diaper change to your side of the ledger unless you actually change one. Great for those times when he mutters, "I changed the last one", after being home for 14 minutes, totally discounting the previous 11 hours you have just spent with the baby.

Perhaps the most perfect job-sharing appliance might be an earpiece for the children. If you were the last person to nag, yell, preach, or scold the children in any way, and you attempt to go at them again before he comes home, the children are unable to process your voice in any way, instead hearing a continuous cycle of "blah blah blah blah blah". The hearing device will only allow their father's tones to penetrate when he arrives home and starts the liturgy on the overflowing front hall of knapsacks. Oh, wait a minute, someone must have already put that one on the market.